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How could I? after all that has been done, forgive you. i could say the words, maybe even make you beileve them but in my heart i know i could never forgive you. though i try every day, i can't seem to forget, forget what happened and what was said that day. i could lie to you and tell you we can go on as if nothing had happened but in my soul, i would condem myself for the liar i would be. you tell me it was a mistake as if it were something that could ever be fixed. i can't and will not skim over the rough spots of life, for i know that the truth always comes out. you, like all others that truley know me, should know this. i wish that i could mask my pain from your eyes and allow you to move on but you linger in my mind. i can't seem to lose you though i have tried, you would not like this but i burned your memory from existence in all physical links i could make. yet every night i dream, i dream of you, of the happy days that we used to live in. my waking moments though, are filled with the consequences of your actions. i wonder somedays if you even remember my name, if you even remember my face. you left so long ago, i am always left to wonder. you left me alone, alone and empty. you once told me i was your light in the darkness. I don't know if i were to see that light, if i'd recognize it as my own. This hole that has formed and swollowed me has been my residence for so long i have forgotten. though you, as nothing else has, remain stuck in my mind.
Note to Self
i can't help but hate you, you the taker of hope, the crusher of dreams. you wear the mask of an innocent, of somebody capable of nothing this bad. but inside you know, know that you could do anything. that when faced with a tough deicison you would pick what suits you best. thinking only of yourself, you don't spare others a single thought. they like everyone else are a means to an end to you. you, who is above caring, above living with the normals, you are pathic, stupid and will never amount to anything. selfish. self-absorbed. you cry because the world no longer holds any joy for you. it's just a place. nothing more, nothing less. that ho
Choices
i walk towards you on a dark moon lite path, wondering how i got to this point in my life. how i finally decided that this was the answer, that you were the one i'd be meeting in the dark. I had dreamed of walking with my one true love on a pathway like this, knowing i was safe because he loved me. but this isn`t some fairy tale, your not that man. you would be shocked to hear these thoughts. you with your need for a quick buck, who is doing this because life dealt you a bad hand. i doubt you wonder why or how i got to this point in my life. the only thing you understand is the need to feed, feeding an addiction is what brings you more money
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